Why do third world countries have a much poorer quality of life than America? It’s based on information. We can think it’s resources. Partially true. It’s much easier to build off of something that’s already built. I’d suggest it’s more about mindset, habits, and discipline though. Just because something is built, doesn’t mean it can’t get worse.
Think of it like a 50/50 world. 50% is innate. The other 50% is learned.
You can’t control where you are born or what talents you are born with. You can control the other 50% by the thoughts you put in, the work you put in, the experiences you go through, the pain you fight off, the positions you put yourself in, etc.
Where do you learn about life? It comes from the home. The apple doesn’t fall from the tree as they say. Sometimes it does, but that’s an outlier not the average. People will lead very similar lives to what their parents did. They are supposed to grow and innovate slightly, but ultimately the core values and principles will be the same.
Family creates such a powerful nucleus. I keep saying you must get the inner circle right before you worry about the outer circle. Stop worrying about the world when you can’t get the home right.
The divorce rate is now 50%. Of course some circumstances are beyond our control, but 50% is speaking to an average mindset. What do you think kids learn during that process?
Marriages are going to be tough. You must make it up in your mind these three things going into it:
1) I must place my spouse as the most significant thing in my life no matter what. As soon as the spouse senses that something or someone is meeting that person’s needs without them, they feel threatened.
2) I will not cheat on my spouse. Even if you make it through that, your spouse may resent you for life. If you did do this already, reminisce and truly apologize to the universe for what you did. When you can truly forgive yourself on a core level, you might send that energy off to your spouse. Much of fighting is because of a subconscious sense that the other person isn’t respecting you.
3) We will not get a divorce no matter what. It’s not an option. Love requires work. If our love is strong enough to get married than we are strong enough to keep it. If we fall out of love, it’s because we failed to do the little things to keep it. Falling in love is spontaneous. Keeping it requires effort. Bringing home flowers when you don’t get the spontaneous urge to. If you do what you did in the beginning of a relationship, there will never be an end.
If you can’t commit to those 3 things, don’t get married. Stay single. If you’re not man enough or woman enough to commit to that idea then don’t drag people along with you in your irresponsibility. What usually happens in a divorce is one person follows those 3 rules and the other doesn’t. Occasionally both don’t and it’s a mutual separation.
Ultimately, a strong nucleus will help a country thrive because of the concept of what a family represents. So back to the question of what kids learn during a divorce. They learn that commitment is not important. Loyalty is not important. Honesty may not be important. Sticking through hard times is not important.
How do you think their work ethic will be in terms of jobs and relationships? Of course you get outliers who succeed in both from divorced parents, but it’s very difficult to unlearn those bad habits that they grew up experiencing and living.
I keep referring back to this. Asian Americans stress education! It should be of no surprise why there is a stereotype amongst high schools of Asians being smart. Harvard just put a cap on how many Asian Americans will be admitted in their school.
They are not born smarter. They spend much more time studying! It comes from what you learn in the home.
Furthermore, we have to feel responsible to take care of our children until they leave the nest. We must provide a proper nest and give them opportunity to thrive and have a better life than us when they leave the nest. They didn’t choose to be brought into the world. You chose to when you chose to have sex without contraception. Just remember that. It was your choice. Therefore, that responsibility must live inside you for life.