The reason why I’m able to articulate my thoughts to help you is because I’ve been through much of what you have been through and go through. My emotional charge is very great and things that don’t bother most people bother me immensely. I relate to a guy like Eminem who frequently talks about how his brain is wired different. Listen to the song Legacy. This provides him with the ability to write the best lyrics in rap, but it also causes him immense pain. This is why I repeatedly say your gift is hidden. It’s hidden beneath your pain and when you choose to use your adversity to your advantage, you will blow up.
Kobe Bryant talks about how he doesn’t get along with many people on his team and in the NBA. I believe it’s because of the same reason. He gets a stronger emotional charge than most people to recognize when somebody on his team is doing something they’re not supposed to be doing. I believe it can be controlled though. It just takes some more growth. I’ve been a student of life and I study people and their behaviors. One thing I’ve always struggled with is being able to calmly communicate what I’m feeling to someone very close to me when something bothers me. With strangers, I had absolutely no problem, but my family, close friends, and girlfriends…totally different story. Think back to a time where you reached a boiling point where you couldn’t control what you say and you basically yell with no filter. This would happen to me over tiny things. Hugh Jackman used to say he had explosive anger growing up while Jack LaLanne said he was a nasty, miserable kid. I think there is a common thread here with people with strong blueprints. They get a strong emotional charge to drive them to action, but it’s tough to manage.
I think a large reason why I get a larger emotional charge than most is because I have a very strong blueprint and the future veil for me is thin. I believe some people are born more present-minded and act with little to no consequence. This has benefits, however, they don’t really anticipate the future. I believe that other people are more future-oriented. This has benefits too, but many people get caught up in a lot of thinking and less action. I am the latter and I believe that I have strong expectations of people close to me because I see future versions of them not present versions. Since we are all growing, when you expect a person to behave like the future person you see and not the person they are today, it’s obviously going to present problems. This might be what goes on with you if you suffer from a similar problem to me. Come back to present and really expect less of how people are supposed to behave. You cannot expect perfect since you are not perfect. Many of the flaws you see in the people closest to you are really flaws you have within yourself. They are mirrors subtly pointing out your weaknesses.
My father is so great at being able to communicate something calmly to me, my sister, and my mother. Of course things bother him, but he still can keep his cool. So I kept trying to figure out how he did it.
While most people get angry and frustrated and express their feelings with a violent tone, he is always able to calm his emotions. I always looked up to him so much because while I always wanted to communicate like that, yet I couldn’t control it for the longest time. My emotions would get the absolute best of me and I just belt it out in a different tone than an empowering one. Flowers grow with water, not by stomping on them. If we yell at someone when they do something wrong, all you do is hurt the other person and you bring up their defense mechanism. You do not help them grow in that process. You don’t even help them learn their mistakes in that process.
You must master your emotions and learn to communicate effectively in a way that empowers them. This is a true leader. What changed my thought process is understanding that I had certain rules based on people close to me. I made up a set of rules in my mind that dictated how they should conduct themselves. Who am I to impose those rules on someone else? Something is moving through them to act that way. It’s not a representation of you. You don’t need to play G-d. As soon as you start changing the rules for which you expect people to behave, you change the way you communicate to them your feelings and the less of an emotional charge you will get.