Originally published on May 26th, 2015
In the wake of Ray McDonald, Colin Cowherd of ESPN ran a great piece this morning on domestic violence. I like listening to him, because he doesn’t just talk about sports but he relates sports to life and some of the more pressing issues. In a world where the media hides much of the truth, I love it when some of the voices we listen to share what’s on their mind when most would feel hard-pressed to do so out of fear of being deemed as someone who isn’t being “politically correct” to not step on anyone’s toes. The problem is that we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Sometimes you have to call a spade a spade. As Kobe Bryant says, “do you want the guy on your team who is not going to tell you when you have something in your teeth or you want someone to pull you aside and to tell you to take that piece of spinach out of your teeth so you don’t embarrass yourself?”. That only comes with difficult conversations that hurt people’s feelings.
Tim Ferris says this excellent quote:
“A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.”
It’s uncomfortable to talk about things like this. I will bring up topics that are uncomfortable, that you may not want to have. Because we NEED to have them in a world that shies away from it. I will sometimes share with you topics that may make you a little tense.
Colin Cowherd said how he understands the concept of second chances, however, you need to set a culture. If he was running the league he would have a zero tolerance policy. If you hit someone, you are done.
When I was younger, I would probably agree with Colin. The older you get in life, the more you realize how flawed you are. Then, you realize everyone is flawed. You also realize that you’ve grown from your mistakes, and other people do as well, but it does require repentance.
Repentance takes both time and effort.
Do we want people responsible for their actions? Of course and something as bad as hitting someone else, deserves punishment. It is easier to say “that wasn’t who I am” after the fact, but whatever actions we do in life, we ultimately hold responsibility for them. Unfortunately, who you are when we are mad is still us. It’s not the average of who we are and sometimes we go through extraordinary difficulty in life, but we still allow ourselves to reach our low points.
Only G-d can really determine if the punishment on our lives, when we make a mistake, will be as severe as if those actions were done when we were not hurt.
Your peers will ultimately show you the door to your future.
If you grow up around people who think it’s acceptable to live a certain way, you will most likely adopt that philosophy and rationalize how it’s acceptable. When you set a culture that it is not allowed, people will think twice about doing it. The tone must be set, but I do believe in second chances, though that would have to be on a case-by-case basis to know if the person is truly remorseful for their sin.
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