Once you forgive, you no longer feel the intense pain someone caused you from their mistake.
We are afraid to forgive because then we falsely think it threatens our ability to choose.
If we forgive, then it seems we have to allow this person back into our lives. That’s why we resist it so badly.
No, forgiveness frees us from pain.
Let’s say someone wrongs you by talking poorly about you to other people. You can cut them out of your life forever. However, if you do that and talk badly about other people, now you live in fear that someone will spread your gossip and you’re a hypocrite (we all are hypocrites in our own little way – we blame others for their mistakes, unaware that we cause the same mistakes to others). Also the person you don’t forgive will always cause you pain, just by thinking about them. You’re the one in pain, not them, as weird as that sounds. They can choose to feel remorse for their mistake or not. If they choose not to, eventually it will catch up to them and they’ll have to down the road. The universe and its laws are inescapable in a way.
If you learn to forgive them for a mistake, not only do you rid of your pain when thinking about them, but you live with less fear and if you were to make a similar mistake, you won’t live with as much shame.
Once you forgive, it doesn’t mean you hang out with them as much as you did. You get to choose how you spend your time AFTER you forgive them.
Forgiving someone allows us to choose if we want them in our life or not, if they meet the parameters we set.
This way we aren’t controlled by the pain inside us. You also spiritually get rewarded for expanding your heart, and you get rewards in other aspects. It happens time and time again. People forgive you for your unrelated mistakes. Your empathy in a business deal pays off. Etc, etc.
We all make mistakes. As the famous quote says ‘He who has not sinned, be the one to cast the first stone.’ Learn to forgive.
Sometimes it’s so hard to forgive a person for their mistakes. Sometimes we can’t forgive the actual mistake – it was done with such ill intent – but thinking in terms of high intelligence here, we probably still must learn to forgive the person, as a whole, for being flawed.
There’s some techniques I’ve had to learn to forgive quicker. I’d love to teach you these on a coaching call if you’d like. Mastermind Members now get a discount on the calls here.
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