A mentor of mine taught me these 12 steps to win people to your way of thinking:

  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong”.
  3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  4. Begin in a friendly way.
  5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
  6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
  8. Try honestly to see it from the other person’s point of view.
  9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  10. Appeal to nobler motives.
  11. Dramatize your ideas.
  12. Throw down a challenge.

I got into an argument last night with someone and my emotions came in and didn’t make me as effective at influencing as I usually am. This morning, I reviewed these 12 tips that my mentor wrote down for me, which are influenced by Dale Carnegie.

You’re going to make mistakes in life. Always review what went right and especially what went wrong so you can improve. Once you figure out what you should have done, correct it right there and then. So I was screaming in the car to myself. “Do this Jaret, not that. You know better.” People thought I was nuts probably but I do whatever it takes to get the result.


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